Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Twist OUT

I think it worked. After being twisted for 2 days I undid it and ran my shaloe butter coated hands through the curls and this was the result. The more I play with it the more potential I see! Can you believe its already been 5 months and 9 days since I chopped my hair off!!?

Monday, December 1, 2008

2nd try

Progress!! Notice they are smaller. Holding together somewhat better. I think Im going to get some cornrows for a few weeks because I am really just not happy. I was so excited about wearing a hat in the cold but then I have hat hair and i have to pick it out. Im sick of headbands..just Grrrr. I need a change. But twisties!! A few more inches and I would attempt to rock by itself.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I did it!!

My own twist. Course they look a hot mess but I did it all by myself. They stayed together. ANDDD My hair is actually long enough for these man hands to wrap around!!!! Yippppeeee! I did these after cowashing my hair. BTW I am washing less and less. My hair shrinks so much I cant stand it and it takes at least a week before it gets managable. After these twist overnight I just spritzed with my glycerine, vit E, Castor Oil, Jojoba oil and suave conditioner and picked it out.

I finally made Shaloe butter and my hair is soooo loving it!! I melted the yellow Shae butter and allot of aloe vera, some vitamin E and Castor oil. Mixed it all up and BAM! It really makes my hair so soft.

I had to give up on the olive oil. It seemed to kinda just sit on my hair and get crunchy.
I am now at the legnth I need to do something. Wash and go looks weird. I look like whats her name on What's Happening....the waitress that was always mad. The headbands dont look right anymore either. I suppose I should cut the top off and even it up all around but if I loc or braid it I think I want the top alittle longer.

I dont know. Thats it for now. Im going to try to get some decent hair pics up. I never remember until after the fact.

Friday, November 7, 2008

The new face of America

The new face of America

This is the picture that brought tears to my eyes. This black man with his black wife and those beautiful chocolate little girls will be in the White House. If you are not black you cannot come close to understanding the power their mere presence has. My little chocolate girls don't see their likeness on TV very often and when they do it isn't necessarily positive but they stopped playing ring-around-the-rosie last night and watched little girls that looked like them walk on to a stage representing their country. While they didn't truly understand the significance, their mere presence was enough to stop them. While I sat in my husbands arms and watched this new 1st family the woman and the little girl in me cried. As my daddy has only able to say " I just never woulda thought"

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Bald spot 1st three months

a comic strip!

Not too much going on with my hair. It is growing and getting thick. I still only wear a headband and wash n go sometimes. Its almost too long to WnG. At least I dont like the look of it that way. It needs a few more inches to be a true afro. I get alot of shrinkage lately. I only wash once or twice a week now because of it. The good news is the bald spot is just about gone!! I still love and think i am ready to braid it. One of my BFs got her hair braided into almost micros and man she looked great. I am tempted. I love me with longer hair. I still dont feel particularly "pretty" like this. Winter is comming and im not sure how my hair will handle it but I am excited to be able to wear a hat!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

So howsit goin?

It has been non-stop action in my neck of the woods. My son passed the summer session and is now a freshman at Northern Kentucky University. He also got his wisdom teeth cut out while he was home on break. I went to my 20th high school reunion. Had a family reunion for the first time in 10 years. I turned 38 and my husband turned 42.

Mama is spent let me tell ya!

The best thing though is my hair!!. It is growing like crazy. I officially have a TWA..teeny weeny afro! I am still concocting my own stuff and loving it. I did, however just make my first not so great batch and Im not so sure why it is off. I am now able to wear my headbands without looking crazy. I still do my wash and go's but not so much anymore.

The weird thing is the patches of scalp that are tender at various times like perm burn. Its almost as if my scalp knows it should burnt and is going thru creamy crack DTs. It is also now long enough that I am getting...shrinkage...kinkage...tightness..I dont know what ya call it....nappyness. Except the top. Its still straight.

I got my first shape up at the barber a few weeks ago too. That was funny. I never been a barber shop before but the guys didnt even bat an eye.

Happy birthday

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Monday, July 14, 2008

Week 3 and sporting a new do

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Friday, July 11, 2008

2 weeks and going

I'm not sure if it is growing but there is definately some curl stuff going on in places. I dont know what I should do about these ends. My hair is still pretty straight in the top when it is wet.

and look...a new style...almost...LOL.....either way I love it. I think if I can put a barrett in there or something it might look cute. Potential at last!! I tried to put aloe vera and the curls whipped cream to hold down the front. It didnt really work but maybe if I try to tie it down tonight.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I loved saw this and loved it

“I want to know my hair again, the way I knew it before I knew that my hair is me, before I lost the right to me, before I knew that the burden of beauty—or lack of it—for an entire race of people could be tied up with my hair and me.” - Paulette M. Caldwell

Quick update

I'm sorry I've been MIA. My baby boy has left to go to summer session at NKU this week. I am trying to adjust. Then my brother showed up in town after being mia for 4 months needing a place to stay after leaving his no good wife. I am still keeping up with the cowashing and the spritz. I am feeling the need to cut my relaxed ends off. Its making me feel very Grace Jonesish. I cant tell if its grown or not but then its only been two weeks so probably not. I have not succumbed to the instaweave yet. My 20th high school reuninon is in August and I'm not sure I can go au naturale. I have only taken a few pictures but they look the same. I definately have some different textures going on. Im not sure how to handle that. I got a little elastic headband but my hair isnt long enough to actually hold back yet so I am still just wash and going.

Posting pictures is harder than I thought. I never have the camera ready when I need it or I dont think about it until after the fact.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

How I felt this week

I dont know. Alot of things. To go from having alot of hair to no a HUGE emotional adjustment that I don't think I appreciated before I did it. I know it will take time. While I have not been tempted to wear any of my instaweaves I do yearn for the money to have some braids put in while I least until my TWA grows enough for a headband. I know all this stuff is in my head an baggage passed down to me but its there none the less. I'm a girlie girl and even with big earrings and full makeup I don't feel it yet. It doesn't feel feminine.

I am proud of myself for doing it. I don't regret doing it. I don't think I look AWFUL but.....I don't feel pretty either. I feel like a bruising bulldog truth be told. Sigh...maybe next week.

What I learned this week

I have survived the first week since doing the big chop. I made it without reverting back to my instaweave. I went to lunch with old coworkers and went face to face with my daddy and other family members. Y'all just don't know how hard that was. I haven't made peace with the way I look but I am trying to accept it.

I am so excited, I have learned so much. This whole natural hair thing is like uncovering ancient ruins or something. The best thing is the whole notion of co-washing or only washing my hair with conditioner. I've co-washed 3x this week mostly because I have putting so much stuff in my hair but I want to do it every couple of days or so irregardless. I cant believe the difference it makes. I have washed and conditioned with Keracare shampoo and Humecto conditioner and it left my hair brittle and dry. The co-washes leave my hair so soft and manageable its just crazy. Who knew???

The 2nd best thing is this conditioner/glycerin/water spritz. Man oh man. Now every cell in my brain is screaming at me that putting water on nappy hair is a one way ticket to hell but my hair was never this soft or moisturized when i had a relaxer. The best part is it's all natural and I MADE IT ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!

I got the Curls Whipped Cream and Souffle I have used the WC once and man did it curl my hair....relaxed ends and all. I think it made everything curl in tight. I'm not sure if it what they call shrinkage but my TWA shrunk. (For Lisa:TWA is short for teeny weenie afro). It also left my hair alittle bit harder than just the spritz but it is still soft. I will post some before and after pictures.

The bad thing I learned....if you can call it bad is Tea Tree oil is some STRONG stuff!!! I felt like Nutty Professor so I decided to add some Tea Tree and Jojoba oils to my glycerin spritz. The more the merrier right?? Yeah well....Tea Tree Oil is, for those like me who aren't exactly sure what Tea Tree oil can be used for:

Tea Tree Oil Healing Powers
Tea tree oil has been proven to be a powerful yet natural antiviral, antibacterial, antifungal medicine (essential oil).

It is being used as a very effective first aid remedy and against countless skin ailments, infections, cuts, scrapes, burns, insect bites and skin spots etc.

Tea tree oil is effective against nail fungus, ringworm, athlete's foot, dandruff, acne, blackheads and many types of infestations including lice, mites, scabies and mosquitoes etc... (For humans and animals alike)

Tea tree oil is not just soothing and disinfecting, it is capable of penetrating into the lower skin layers with its anti-inflammatory, disinfectant, analgesic (pain-killing) and cicatrizant (wound-healing) qualities.

It has a diaphoretic effect - It promotes sweating - which enhances the body's own natural preventative response when threatened by infection.

Tea tree oil exhibits expectorant and balsamic characteristics, which are especially beneficial in the case of throat or chest infections, having a generally soothing and clearing (mucus-expelling) effect on the entire respiratory tract. It is also effective against head colds.

All that means if you put more than just a few drops....your head will be on fire all night long!!!
LOLOL....I know...that's what my crazy azz gets. LOL

Ok so I've made a new spritz with conditioner, glycerin, jojoba, and vitamin E. I'm gonna use that this week. I'm also gonna use it on the girls hair and see how that works. I'm also gonna keep trying the Curls stuff to see how I like it as well.

BUT I visited the site Coup de coeur who says she loves Karen's Products and man that stuff looks great there are alot of fragrances including Sultry Sandalwood and Egyptian Musk!!! I'm gonna have to order their sampler just to see. I'm not usually a product junkie but I am afraid I am becoming one VERRRRY fast.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

My first week

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Friday, June 27, 2008

Washing Hair Tips from AfroNiquely You

Washing Your Hair

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This is a cool new site. Just the information I need! My hair is loving cowashing. I never heard of it before 2 weeks ago.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Going out in public

My baby is not home and I cant sleep.

I'm supposed to have lunch tomorrow with an old coworker downtown. I am debating wearing the instaweave. I've gone to the store and been out and about town just fine but I haven't actually seen anyone I know yet. Not to mention Char is white. Doing the candle party with my family and friends is one thing but going downtown where most of my old white coworkers will be. I don't know that I want to deal with the 'can I touch it' or explaining the process or just the initial 'Good-googly-moogly girl you cut your hair!!' I practically had to hold press conferences every time I changed my hair style when I worked there.

I's time to put my big girl panties on and deal....but they some big azz panties...LOL

I washed my hair tonight because I put too much stuff in it and made up the spritz of glycerin, suave strawberry moisturizing conditioner and water. I saturated my hair with it and the washed and conditioned my hair with the keracare products the stylist gave me and put alittle grapseed oil in after towel drying. I couldnt remember if I was supposed to redo the spritz after washing or in the am so I am leaving it alone. Well after doing a cowash last week I can definately say that my hair feels alot softer doing the cowash. I think I will stick with that for now.

I have been stalking the boards over at today...well now yesterday. There is just so much information and support. I got caught up in the mental aspect of cutting off my hair going natural thing. This journey is so much more than hair I'm realizing. I have to get to the point where I can look in the mirror.....regardless of my hair......and say "Do you babygirl"....which I didnt realize I couldnt do. I have to fall in love with me all over again. You know I get that "I am not my hair" song stuck in my head alot but I dont think its true. I am very much my hair and I can be beautiful whether my hair is in an intsy wentsy fro or down my back. Getting to that space will be longer journey...the senic route if you will. Which is funny given that i full heartedly believe that I am beautiful whether my azz is a size 30 or 18. LOLOL

My daddy called and had a few more little digs to add about my lack of hair. I started to get all defensive but then I was like no. I dont need to justify this to him or anyone really. I want my hair to be long and healthy AND natural. These naps were God's intent for us from day 1 and I've got to learn to be ok and accept and praise what is. Thats a pretty powerful thing for me to realize. God made the first black person with nappy hair and the last one on this earth will have it too. There is nothing lacking or shameful about it.

Okay I am rambling now. Let me take my butt to bed.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Sybill is Back

I have felt every emotion today. I look at myself in the mirror and see me and/or a stranger. I still dont know if I like what I see but understand that too is part of the journey. The thot of seeing my daddy in person is not working for me. Plus I have a Partylight candle party on Saturday and really dont know if I can handle the attention. (a shock to my Leo sensibilities). I promised I would wear my hair out for a week before I would think about covering it. Although I have been watching videos on youtube on how to wrap your head. Though what in the world would I look like like that???

Ive only cried once and have managed to go out in public twice. Ms Grace put stuff in my hair to make it curl yesterday and said all i had to do was wet it and it would curl right back. WRONG. I ordered the milkshake stuff from Curls last night. I hope it works for me like the ladies on Youtube.

I can't believe how scared I am to fool with my hair. It's insane!...Plus I already know it's not my strong suit but it's not like I can mess up much now is it?...LOL I bought suave coconut conditioner, shea butter, olive oil, glycerine and jojoba oil and cant see past my double chin, gray hairs and big azz cheeks AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO WITH MY HEAD!!!!! I want to make my own natural product so I will mix that tomorrow and try and set a regimine.

I've got damn near 40 years of hair ignorance to overcome....and I was dumb as a bucket of rocks to start with. But to even know what natural hair is supposed to feel like when you have been conditioned to think it is so horrible. I have to say I like the way it feels. I think I may too much stuff in it now.

DH says its great but he always says that. His first words were "neat" and this is a good thing we want your hair healthy. While it is great he is so supportive of everything I do I am a bit fragile and really needed hear was 'You're beautiful' or some malarky like that. LOL He keeps looking at me strange but then I guess out of allll the weaves and pieces I've had through the years this is the most drastic. Plus my timing isnt the best. Jev goes for Freshman orientation tomorrow and leaves for the summer program at NKU on the 7th. We've had to borrow alittle money from my daddy for that. I havent asked my daddy for jack since I got married. That was rough. My baby leaving the nest is stressing us out. Maybe my hair is the only thing I have the slightest bit of control of.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It is finished

I did it. I woke up yesterday and said if the girls visit went through (mom has not shown the past 3) then I would use my 3 hours to get my hair chopped. Well when the caseworker called and said to bring the girls I said...well let me try to get it braided first...LOLOL! So I drove around and called the places I had seen and not one shop was open or answering phones. So I went to Ms Grace and said cut all the bad hair off.

I did'nt burst into tears when I first saw myself. I took that as a good sign. My first thought was 'wow..those are some big cheeks.' then 'wow, I got alot of gray'. I dont know. My son hates it. He was sooo mortified the boy called my DADDY to tell him so he could yell at me. My daddy is old school. He called and asked why would I do a fool thing like that and told me DH would leave me for sure when he saw it. Mind you he hasnt actually SEEN me yet.

I keep looking into the mirror and saying "This is me. Im ok" I love the way it feels. Its going to take some time. I have to admit while I was out yesterday with the girls I didnt pay any attention and almost forgot my hair was gone. Im trying to get up the gumption to post pics.

Monday, June 23, 2008

The Loud Silence Of Feminists

I don't think I can respond to this without sounding like the racist I think I already am.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

2nd Try

Well I twisted again. Much better I think. At least there are more of them. After looking at the pictures I didnt realize just how jacked up the back of my head is. It hasnt looked this bad since it first fell out. There are at least 3 different lengths back there. You can really see the different textures in the third pic...and the freakin gray....Good googly moogly when did I get all THAT!!I wonder if I am doing more damage trying to hold on to it than not. Im about 3 steps away from full blown panic.


Well the twist came out, as some of you probably expected, looking more like very loose waves. But now I see the potential. I have it up in a makeshift french roll and feel ok to go out in public. I will redo it tonight with smaller twist and see what happens. I dont think there is anything that can be done for the back. I will take some pics later to show.

I really dig the Jamacian wax creme. My hair is so soft and not greasy feeling at all.

Im tellin ya I am soooo tempted to go get it cut off tomorrow I just dont know what to do. I will have to wait until I get enough new growth all around for a TWA because I wont be able to do anything with it. I am trying to imagine all this face with no hair. Its a scurry thot.

From this day forward

I have wanted to go natural and loc for several years now but have never had the guts. My husband of 8 years, who is white, doesn't understand the problem. He says I'm acting like I'm getting a boob job. Its just hair. I a point. I want to do it. I love the look. I am tired of the chemicals. I don't want my hair to define me but I do want it to say that I am ok with me...naturally. I am tired of being afraid of my hair. Yet I feel like I am on top of the cliff about to bungee jump for the first time.

The transition of not having any hair terrified me. Im a big girl.. bald and double chin mother would roll over in her grave! LOL Then I got micros for about a year and ended up with an "Afro" that hit the top of the door when I walked through. Sadly I didn't know how to handle it and felt like I couldn't go to my corporate job looking like a foxy brown wannabe so I wore a hairpiece for about a week and got it relaxed. Oh I how i regret that now.

Currently I am a stay at home mom with a son starting college and fostering 2 little girls (1 &3). Its been almost 3 months since I last used the creamy crack. I do the 3yr olds natural hair and see how manageable and beautiful it is and it is all i want her to know. I know in my heart its time for me. The stars are almost in line. The back of my head is full of naps while the front is straight. I cant find a soul to even braid my hair now. LOL!! So I will try to manage what I have until it works. I know I wont relax again. I refuse to spend $200+ to get micros or twist. I will loc or I will tough it out.

A woman on inspired me to just try to twist my hair to see what happens. I did it!! and its been an hour and its still holding together. I so suck at hair so this is a major accomplishment for me! Now I wouldn't be caught dead in public but its a start. I look a hot mess or my son says like Coolio but I'm excited. I washed it with Carol's Daughter Rosemary Sea Moss shampoo and left in VO5 Tea Tree conditioner then used Jamaican Mango & Lime locking creme wax to twist. I know I should of made them smaller now. I have no clue what to do with the back. There are so many different lengths and textures back there. Not to mention I cant reach it and my hands are too big for that length.

Up until a couple of years ago I always had thick full shoulder length hair. Then fertility drugs made my diabetes go haywire and center back of my hair fell out. When I got the micros put in they filled in very nicely but as soon as I put the creamy crack on it has been going to hell in a handbasket. Anyways. There is a big chunk of hair on the left that is completely natural and so soft. I am just amazed. I almost wish it was all that way so I could figure out what to do. Ive been obsessed with youtube videos of women who did the BC. I am feeling uncomfortable in my own hair these days and want to just do it. How bold would that be??? I don't know if I can be that kind of woman but damn if I don't want to be one.

Sweet dreams